I've been seeking the truth for
years. Most of the times since I got converted into Protestan
Christianism, I've tried to have a close personal encounter with God
(or Jesus) and, those times I think I have approached to them
spiritually, those times have been by gruping and guessing they were
talking to me in one way.
By 2009 Mónica and I thought God
answered our prayers on what to do, before I moved to Colombia. We
interpreted God gave us a sign when we saw two moving stars. They
came along from two opposite side to reach one another, to meet
aligned in one line. We thought the two stars represented us and, the
moment one left toward Colombia, I thought it was the answer I was
seeking but, today (July
16th, 2016), I see
it another way, as God's answer, telling me what I should have done
before I had moved out from Venezuela...
I never saw UFOs! We were praying
earnestly for a divine direction on what to do and, that night, we
were coming home, seeking for the truth on the riht thing to do. I
never used drugs neither we took any sort of allucinogens
so, what Mónica and I saw was unexpected and real, as these words
I'm typing now. I have spoken that to my friend Juan L., and he also
have seen a sort of those UFOs somewhere else before. I also shared
my personal experience with a client, and he told me he saw something
amazing when he was younger: He described a rare noise near a wood he
saw bathed by shining lights. He was in the company of a relative in
that odd experience, but I don't remember if he was with his brother
or someone else I forgot particular details. My client asked him to
get closer, the light reached their eyes in a way they hardly could
see and, when they tried to reach that site, there was a strong
earthquake. They fell down, and those machines they saw as a amazing
circus, suddenly disappeared. My client wanted to see what was left,
he asked his companion to reach that place, but a new huge fear -I
can't describe- invaded them, in a fashion they could not find their
way to escape. His witness to thiese things deserved to be heard and
recorded, but heś such an old fashioned Christian that I doubt he
would be willing to get his words pulished, since his experience
brings no glory to God, but to something rare he doesn't know what
was at his childhood.
This week I received a newsletter
“Paul: Jewish
Law and Early Christianity”
a free ebook from www.biblicalarchaeology.org
. I'm reading their
PDF file, and here I see I´m not the only one having strong issues
against Paul 's writings
and contradictory teachings. It is my belief he wasn't a real apostle
Jesus Christ chose and, anything I've believed is totally irrelevant,
except what I'm doing with it before God and against the benefit of
human race.
Do I have to know God by a handed over second-hand experience?
I have written enough about my
zeal and concern on that matter. If I was a Jew the Torah and their
teachings could be enough to grasp what they have believed by
childish faith but, if I really think of a God demanding absolute
devotion or love, physical and emotional exclusivity (as anyone can
read studying the firsts Ten Commands) I see something missing, and
it is (a)
the friendly bond a lover might regret when his/her loved one seemed
detached and (b)
distantly cold and unconcerned.
If I'm asked to love God by blind
obedience, as the average Catholic teachings normally said, I'm bound
to reach nowhere, as if I tried to love a picture of a eautiful woman
I would never reach and, in the lucky case I might meet her for a
while, I'm not in the physical
or economical
condition I could give everything she might like to enjoy herself
dwelling with me. If God really wanted such an emotional
and physical exclusivity
-as average lovers always do- why is He so far to be personally
heard or definitivelly
reached?
Paul said God met him on his way
to Damascus. He said his group saw the lights but only he heard the
voice talking... Is God always seeking few particular people, while
He seems to be rejecting bunches of them, who badly need Him to lead
their confused lives?
Paul tried to defend his
“ministry”, his “service” and “apostleship” before God
and men; a thing we haven't heard of nor read about with those
servants Jesus formely chose during His earthly ministry. Perhaps
you're not acquanted with those letters Paul wrote “to show” he
had the same spiritual stature Peter or John had forgotten (or
shadowed) while Acts is read, and quickly those Paul's 12 or 13
epistles tell about him travelling with turmoils, performing more
miracles than those who personaly lived with Jesus... And such “epic”
in which Paul is shown with a bold and stronger performance, the 11
apostles seemed to be hid, undermined (or dimmed) while the Gospel
tells of the miracles God performed by the hands of Jesus, and His
Jewish former apostles.
The Lord Jesus Christ announced
Jewish leaders will be finally rejected by God. My Lord told He had
chosen new people to seek Him and, the moment He died at the cross,
John told that that curtain veiling the access to the Holy Place was
torn from the above... How come will Jews insist on being the only
ones chosen, after killing their Lord and Saviour?
Peter and Paul.
An icon from Ethioia, by 15th
century.
A couple of years back on a
Christian Chat Forum, I said Paul (Shaul) was he 1st Jew willing to
convert into Catholicism. Perhaps many people won't agree with my
beliefs, but I hope that my beliefs will produce no harm to what
you've actually believed.
As far as I travelled this
Christian faith, I've seen traditional Catholicism is hugely
syncretist. This is a melting of pagan beliefs, iconoclastic
idolatry, expecting the believer turns to God, just following the
Catholic dogmas, their religious system of that church, obeying their
traditions as infallible, honoring their priests and their saints, as
they also want their followers to worship Mary, as a co-redeeer. Have
you seen how Latin Americans have merged their native folklore with
the Catholic beliefs? I have seen it well, and that's why I know
Catholicism is too far from home...
Judaism seemed to be
progressively superseeded by the original Christianism Jewish
apostles initially sought, and that's why I willingly recommended the
reading of the PDF file I mentioned before ( Paul:
Jewish Law and Early Christianity
– from
www.biblicalarchaeology.org
).
Were original Paul's teachings
manipulated and altered? I
don't know! But my
personal dilemma lies solely on hearing or reaching God (or Jesus),
meeting Him (them)
personally, and not by handed over second-handed teachings.
The more I read the Bible I see
God getting undetached, unrelated, until the time Jesus appeared into
history. Once He left, distance is set again, with the promise of
“being here” with the help of the Holy Spirit, with the guidance
of his words... I wish He were easily heard and found by those who
earnestly seek Him. We are made (and wired) in a way we cling to be
met. We need to experiment a human touch. We love to tangibly hear
and to be heard, and too little persons are prone to love people (or
someone) at cold or undetached distance... I think God, the universal
Maker, could be aware of that, too.
A. Toro July 16th, 2016
