How much?

I don´t know where you heart is, I don´t know what you seek, but Jesus gave us an example (and a clue).

You can guess what a box has by hearing its sounds, by holding it in your hands, by shaking it and feeling its movements but -the real content- would be “seen” when it lays down vulnerable, opened up, and completely seen... Isn´t this the way God wants us to be? At least, I feel He wants me to know who I am to acknowledge how wrong I am and was.

Today I had the chance to look at my mirror to ask these: Do you love? How much?

Jesus gave a living example and also saw it His way:

Joh 15:13  The greatest love you can show is to give your life for your friends. 

Joh 15:13  Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

Joh 15:13  The greatest love people can show is to die for their friends. 

Joh 15:13  Greater love has no man than this, that a man gives up his life for his friends. 

Joh 15:13  No one shows greater love than when he lays down his life for his friends. 

I have seen how much I really “love” for what I have given.

I could see how much I gave for how much I have given up for others: That is (and was) nothing (compared to others and Jesus´ examples).

If any person is stingy enough to give one minute of attention (and meager enough to think he/she deserves more to be heard or seen) you might know where his/her heart is:  The heart is where our treasure is ( Luk_12:34  ) 

The more greedy we are, the less we give. The more self-centered we are, more selfishly we would give pretending to live.

I had a look on the attention I gave and those things I thought I shared... 

How often did I visit my children to listen (and provide for) their needs? 

How often am I called to give or receive attention? Who are these I called and those who called me?

Yesterday, a man I don´t know, called me greeting me that way I know as a trick. He gave me no time to say a word, so I wait and wait, until the time I was asked and I said: “I need nothing from you. I don´t need that you said it was nice to me, because I have no one to phone call and, each time I do that, I pay it in full... Additionally, I don´t like monthly payments.”

He called me for a business trade. That was not personal thing I dealt with and we often tend to seek or lie to get what others might have. That could be money, those things you got yourself or wicked sex. 

As worldly people -we once were- we´ve been there, wooing at things that cannot be held, another way.

What are those things I said were my love and token of those offerings?

The more you´ve shared about you, the less you might be listening about another´s life and his/her accounts.

How much life you give? How much people have you blessed?

One, two, three... That´s OK! Enjoy those who hugged you... Jesus gave His entire life.

Luk_12:34  Because where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." 

How much have I left it exposed?  

How much did I give it without expecting anything in turn?

I remember those days people wanted to be heard by a telegram. They couldn´t say too much, they couldn´t give a lot -sometimes- because they needed a swift way to give their message, at a low cost.

Will I preach Jesus that way?

Few of them I know dared to give much or too much. Those who longed their loved ones shared their feelings by writing long letters and, if they were limited in time (to write a bit more) they wrote on a daily base or, at least, regularly.

When my dad left home (to make money) he sent letters to my grandmother, his sisters and few to my mom. I learned a lot by reading and studying all of them: I got my dad´s and all those he kept from his loved ones. I know his joy, his shortcomings as backslides and his people´s needs (and what some of these really sought and need from him). 

Know what? Jesus was not preached in there. There was so little hope that, after a “long time” I felt it was passing by, he came back home and -inside this- he stayed alone...

Why are we like these?

 There is a message that needs to be sent to be reached. There are those who might see it wanted who can be reached, but we are selfish and stayed alone: “Home”.

How often do you write to your loved ones? 

How much have you given real attention (and money) to those who have been ignored and missed up by you?

This is my introspection, today. 

I´m thinking about those who haven´t received the Lord´s message but I also think about those who learned to leave you alone -all alone- leaving your life behind...

Love needs to be fed of with our deeds.

Empty words -without affirming verifiable facts- are useless things, just like a guitar without its player: “I love you” I can play, but I cared nothing about what your needs are, ignoring all what your thoughts could be (That´s not fair and few persons would think it as love).

How can you write a poem without a person who draws his/her attention? 

You are also a source of inspiration for people´s love and affections. 

How much you´ve given today, Antonio? What it is that you really give?

I haven´t seen how I was... 

I´d like to thank youth people for being like they are (and also thanked God for how they were).

Haven´t He done marvels and great deeds in you or me today?

Each day is a change to change and all these things can be improved.

Mat 25:23  "His master replied, 'Good job! You're a good and faithful servant! You proved that you could be trusted with a small amount. I will put you in charge of a large amount. Come and share your master's happiness.' 

How much am I assuring other´s attitude? How much have I backed up real friends? How much have I paid attention to those who badly needed (or those who have given me much more than I thought I deserved)?

Too many unanswered questions!... The answer is always Jesus.

A.T.

La moral (o “Eso no es moral”)

Hace mucho he oído esto. Puede que mis conceptos no sean mejores que los suyos y, también en esto, cada persona tiene derecho (y moral) para defender su posición y opinión PERSONAL.

No cabe duda que hay una moral social, una moral colectiva pero -sin el individuo- sin la pluralidad distintiva de quienes somos, la moral “social” no tiene valor ni sentido alguno, puesto que ésta (la social) es un gran convenio cultural, tácito o no, de la opinión generalizada, la posición étnica o social y el uso de LAS COSTUMBRE de cada individuo en particular, ligada a su actividad social, a su IDENTIDAD protagónica (no antagónica), en cualquier medio que cada individuo se desenvuelva.

En un sentido, la moral es un hábito hecho “plural” por la aceptación de un colectivo. Los hábitos o conductas son individuales pero, por la vía de la transculturización, podemos reconocer valores nuevos, ajenos a nuestra generación, a la herencia de nuestra cultura o extrañas a los valores de nuestras familias (las que nos formaron y educaron).

Una sociedad que fomente el tráfico de drogas, el irrespeto, el robo, la mentira, etc., no permanecerá como tal y, de hecho, tal permisividad amoral deteriorará la vida de cada ciudadano, al punto de que cada individuo llegará a auto extinguirse ¿Ejemplo? La presente cultura política de Venezuela.

Joselo Díaz, en uno de sus programas “cómicos” tenía un personaje que decía: “¡Dios mío! Yo no te pido que me des real, sino que me pongas donde hay...”. ¿Lo recuerdan? Es obvio que, quien quiera diga eso hoy -moralmente- tiene muy poco que exigir o ejemplificar con la doble moral que públicamente exhibe.

¿Qué es la MORAL?

Brevemente, me tomo prestada esta corta definición de wikipedia:

“La moral o moralidad (del latín mos, moris, ‘costumbre’) son las reglas o normas por las que se rige el comportamiento o la conducta de un ser humano en relación a la sociedad (normas sociales), a sí mismo, y a todo lo que lo rodea. Otra perspectiva la define como el conocimiento de lo que el ser humano debe hacer o evitar para conservar estabilidad social.” ( http://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moral )

Podemos hablar mucho de moral y practicarla poco (hipocresía).

Podemos buscar -y abarcar- toda la gama del espectro social, el entorno espiritual o su ámbito teológico, sin formar un hábito moral verdaderamente nuestro, aquel que nos defina INDIVIDUALMENTE en la sociedad que decimos pertenecer, esta que nos da abrigo, y en la que se fomentamos relaciones de pertenencia, conveniencia y convivencia.

La moral nos define, nos determina individualmente, nos identifica como unos y otros, por nuestros valores y hábitos. Nos caracteriza, nos aprueba o desaprueba en el contexto psico-social, porque la ambigüedad (la doble moral) es propia de quienes mienten y, precisamente, los mentirosos van desde sus casas a la iglesia, de las escuelas a la calle y, en ese encuentro “social”, el cielo es el límite.

¿Cuáles son mis costumbres morales?

Como individuo, se espera que yo respete e imite la conducta deseada de ciertos patrones o normas de aceptación social. Se desea que aprecie y respete esos convencionalismos. Puede que, en la escuela o en el trabajo yo sea aprobado académicamente pero, así como en otros lugares y en otros aspectos, yo puedo ser un ser reprobado moralmente, porque este convencionalismo de la moral forma hábitos que se asocian el carácter de cada individuo de una sociedad determinada que valora o estimula ideales considerados “espirituales”.

No matar, no robar, no mentir, no codiciar... en el fondo -más que mandamientos- son valores morales “espiritualizados” y, la paz universal de cada hombre se basa en el respeto de los deberes y derechos de cada individuo, hombre o mujer.

Hace ya años que una querida amiga escribió su artículo “La prostitución como alternativa”. Creo que no cesaré de proclamar sus ideas ni ese escrito pues, desde la ventana de su campo y vivencia psicológica, ella dejó ver la ambigüedad de ciertos conceptos morales que torcemos a conveniencia (Favor seguir el link de su escrito).

Moralmente -quiéralo no no- tengo una obligación individual de honrar la moral colectiva así como merezco el respeto de mi moral individual. No puedo ser indiferente (ni negligente) al irrespetar lo que debo a otros y, en esa misma proporción, merezco respeto a lo que yo valoro, como individuo, como persona y, hablo de moral personal, esta que me determina o caracteriza como individuo.

Las leyes “orgánicas” se suponen normalizan la coexistencia de cada individuo de cada país. La moral, en su mínima expresión, refleja parte de ese sistema moral macro-social, macro-ecómico que, cada individuo desea y debe respetar: No matar, no robar, no mentir, no codiciar, etc.

Un fumador no debe fumar en presencia de una persona que odie al olor del cigarrillo, no debe fumar frente a un niño y, mucho menos, al lado de otra persona que esté afectada por una enfermedad pulmonar: Eso sería un deber ser moral.

Un ladrón, por su parte, considera “crimen profesional” cualquier acto que le prive de lo que “compró” o robó a otro.

Un proxeneta no tiene moral para criticar lo que hace su hijo o su hija por dinero (o por placer). No puedo hablar mal de la pornografía si la produzco o la consumo... Un traficante de sexo no tiene más moral que quien la compra y, en medio del texto (en negrilla) dejo un hipervínculo que -también- toca este tema que seduce a tantos y ¿En qué una prostituta es menos que un chulo?

Una prostituta, en su código individual, penaliza y critica a cualquier mujer (u hombre) que la prive de la compañía de cualquier persona que la llene del placer que no haya en otro hombre (o mujer). Aunque moralmente no es ético que ella resienta alguna forma de infidelidad (emocional o sexual) su razón le dice: “No me han hecho un bien” y es allí donde la moral toca su ideal mayor (el bien colectivo, respetando -particularmente- el bien individual).

La infidelidad, como costumbre (moris) tiene un reconocimiento público, moral, “espiritual” y legal pero, en la práctica, usamos un discurso doble: “Yo deseo que me seas fiel” (pero yo sí tengo derecho a dormir con quien quiera, tú no). ¿Es eso moral o hipocresía?

Me parece, no sé a Uds, que uno no tiene autoridad moral para intentan cambiar a otros cuando uno mismo no ha podido cambiarse ni auto mejorarse. Esto me recuerda la exacta moral que propuso el señor jesucristo cuando expuso aquello de “Médico cúrate a ti mismo” o cuando dijo: “Saca la viga de tu ojo, para que puedas ayudar a otros a curarse” ( Mateo 7:3; Lucas 6:42 )

Si yo mismo no he dejado de mentir ¿Qué moral tengo para enseñar el arte de la verdad?

Si yo mismo no soy infiel ¿Cómo enseñar la lealtad?

Si no sé responder a un compromiso ¿Cómo daré una cátedra si no soy responsable?

Estoy convencido, no sólo por la experiencia de vida en Venezuela que, las personas que más te exigen cosas son las mismas que menos están dispuestas a darlas de sí.

Puede que pidan materialmente, pero resultan -tacañas y tacaños- a la hora que deben dar lo que otros piden (o sólo anhelan se les respete).

El mejor ejemplo de autoridad moral lo encuentro en Jesucristo. Su máxima, en esto de relaciones humanas y todo aquello que tenga que ver con uno mismo, lo resume en esta fórmula: “Y así como quieran que los hombres les hagan a ustedes, hagan con ellos de la misma manera. ” (Lucas 6:31)

¿Quieres te respeten? Muestra respeto por otros.

¿Deseas te aprecien o escuche? Paga con la misma moneda... Sólo se cosecha lo que se siembre, menos de allí, no tenemos moral para pedir.

Alguien que defienda su identidad personal, su autoestima, debe saber respetar -también- la auto imagen que cada persona cuida (o descuida). No es moral que yo haga lo contrario a lo que deseo para mí. Tu identidad no debe antagonizar contra ni por la mía: Tú eres tú, yo soy yo.

¡Eso, también, es moral! Respetando tus normas o valores, me hago merecedor del reconocimiento de lo que es mío.

A.T. Abril 2014

Nostalgia y Deseo

I

Cada palabra tiene nombre,

Un camino, destinatarios.

La voz a su escenario,

la fuente anida a lo que expira

y al final, la vieja herida,

otra espina rompe un cauce.

¡Anatemas de esta vida!

¿A cuánto amor se le apuñala?

Que el querer no se regala,

Ni las balas son perdidas.

¡Ay! De mí, y esos amores,

Inmersos, y en pedazos.

Si estuviera - hoy - en sus brazos

Esta herida sanaría.

            II

Si fueras sólo mía,

puro amor, y sin reproches.

Salvarías esas noches,

Que añoré, hecho pedazos.

¿Adónde te habrás ido?

En la vaga ventolera.

Ya no pides que te quiera,

Y otro amor te habrá mentido...

¿Te clavaron las espinas?

¿Te sudaron en el ruedo?

"Por amor" alzó su vuelo,

Sin amor, te desnudaron.

Y estos labios que te amaron,

Sin besar, hicieron duelo...

Furtivo instante:

Breve abrazo del rechazo.

¿Qué es la vida,

Hecho pedazos?

Hoy sufrimos en silencio

Como flor que no marchita,

No es la rabia lo que irrita

Es la fuerza de otro error.

¡Te amo! ¡Te amo! ¡Te amo!

Y no es pleno este deseo.

Aunque a ciegas yo te veo,

Y aunque ver, hoy no es mi suerte:

Pues, amar ¡y no tenerte!

No está lejos de morir.

… Soy páginas blancas...

Lo que amar, no dio a escribir.

¡Y es tan fácil escupir!

Lo que ensucia otro demente.

Queda el tizne del recuerdo,

lo que pude, y no fue así;

sin embargo  -para mí-

no hay loco en lo que es cuerdo.

            III

¡Malcriado niño destetado!

Pérfido, en otra ausencia: 

Quizá pueda la renuencia,

Besar besos que no pido.

Abrazado al desconsuelo,

- como brújula sin Norte -

No te hiera este reporte:

“El amor no está perdido”.

A.T.

Nov. 2012

(Modificado, Abril, 2014)

Loved love

Something in me tells WE all die to love or be loved. Something -deep inside- insists on telling me all of us die to enjoy this or enjoy that but, is it self-seeking feeling and something really selfish and sticky?

I cannot stop myself from looking at God, the moment He started to create The World with Jesus... What was he thinking about? What did they have as common agreement?

It sounds naive they needed to be worshiped, particularly when they probably have made angels and more creatures.

It sounds weird they felt alone, having needs they were unable to fill or fulfill.

I just look at the moment Adam sinned. Were they stuck in that present of the Creation? Were they limited to see the future we don´t see in the present?

Adam lacked something he knew the moment he saw Eve. It sounds childish God wasn´t aware of human needs and unveiled longings and, if inadvertently ignored any of them, was He blind or Jesus?: He gave us His nature, also.

Dogs or cats shared a couple of things with me, as a rare human. They know whom they like and those they don´t. The have their time to piss up and their moment to seek more “loving” attention... Are we a product of such a cosmic evolution many insist on?

These days I remembered some cartoon I used to watch on TV. If I had had the control we have now to pick the program and the channel, I would have learned more from life and those painstaking lesson TV programs tried to retrieve from real life (Some TV programs served me as a schoolroom).

Did you like the Krazy Cat cartoon series?

I disbelieved there were people like that. I blindly doubted there were people like that but, the one who worked on those drawings knew it from another side...

Will you love someone who hurts you and undermines all your human being?

I hoped none would say “Yes”, but that is not my choice. I hope no one would say: “I have been there, and it hurts”.

Just look at these words someone has said, perhaps in a narrow-minded situation:

"What I absolutely need is:

Someone who has never been married

Someone who does not drink

Someone who does not smoke

Someone who does not do drugs

Someone who does not have children

Someone who lives in (blank) or who can move here

Someone who does not have sex outside of marriage

Also I don´t believe in living together before marriage

Very important to know: I am a virgin and I have no interest in sex... I am likely asexual... A huge plus if God made you that way too. "

How come a hurt-me not, like this, will be helped to be found or match-made?

She said she is asexual (or likely) so, 1. Does she need to be married? 2. Will she be found by another virgin and pure man?

A picky person does not help his/ her situation. Some ailments -and mental illness- helps but too little (or nothing) to be cherished up to the last earthly breath.

Sometimes we open our windows without any shade and, I´m the kind of person who -sometimes- loves (and try to know) below the outer surface...

If I had had the chance I wouldn´t have watched the things I have seen and many of those I can give an account. I know that, part of the present day feminist movement, comes from several sorts of physical, emotional and sexual abuse and harassment and, most of those who back this up were abused, no matter the gender but, would you love someone like that mouse?

She is tall he is short.

She has good shape. He is bad and ugly (compared to several mice cartoons have had).

He is cheeky, selfish and unkind (completely detestable, if he was a person).

I see her Christian-like and, the mouse, another rat to be left...

If I were asked to show whom I like I surely would say I like that Krazy Kat. She sees the positive within the mice´s animosity. She insist on loving while that mouse is trowing bricks at her... No! I don´t to be like that, but she is lovable.

I had a friend whom I used to say I needed a brick to kiss her cheek. She was taller than I am and, when that wasn´t possible (I said) I would step up into the sidewalk, just to place her near the road to see her we were alike... Ha! Ha!

My brother´s GF is behaving like that kitty. She always sighs at looking his pictures and I make some jokes to see how deeply she loves mu brother (I hope he gets his firstborn).

She stares at a picture where I was with my brother and says nice things any person would enjoy (perhaps my brother would not pay to much attention). She daydreams the moment “their baby” comes and looks like my brother was (here´s where I told things to hear how she likes him the most).

Do you love that way? Have you ever loved like a crazy person?

There were more movies I have seen. One of those I have liked was “Click”, with Adam Sandler. Did you like that part where he fell down running and sadly died?

Did you feel the pain of loosing a loved one and, soon after, regaining that what was solely yours?

No doubt I felt jealous when Adam Sandler lost his wife for another: He played the fool we somehow are...

We, like that mouse, have goofed to the most. We hurt and finally, have been hurt, to be healed...

Yet, it should be recognized we don´t always belong!

We´ve made mistakes, we have hurt, and I don´t plan to be always picky. Will you?

What would be the end result for a mouse?

What would be the final outcome for a person who always rejects those who love him/her for the person he/she really is?

When I was a child a little girl came to show me what love was... I wish I could remember what her face was, much more of this foggy memory I have got for 4 decades but, I think she came into my life for a reason.

I can see her father´s car (a white Volkswagen) but I cannot see her hands or face. Each time I see her, I see the loving attitude she had toward me and those bonds I didn´t realize we started to create any simple day. Sometimes I think she was my soul mate, someone who thought the way I was but, I was so afraid of loving her (of loving me) that I often ran away from her attentions: I think I was a hurt-me not before I was a hermit (a secular one).

Have you ever loved a person you knew you would miss?

Will you commit to love a person you know you would miss or leave, any moment?

I think I knew my limits those days. Her parents were aware I was teased all around that house by her loving but, one night, I let she sit by my side while I was look those stars shining in a clear sky... My life was changed and I don´t know how I turned to be hardened, for some reasons I have ignored.

A Krazy Kat will love you the way you are. A crazy friend -like this- will respect the person you are and, unconditionally, will give much more than you possibly give.

I forgot her name, her face, her likes.

Something, deep in me, has hidden I was older than she was and, if my memory fails, I think it was the first time I played hide & seek, because it was love at first sight.

What are those names you think were forgotten?

What are those persons you´ve badly missed?

That mouse -of that movie- was afraid of being loved by someone bigger than he thought he was. He was afraid of being hugged or liked and, as shocking as it is, many of us are the same...

It´s OK you have your sexual drives and your social-material expectations but, if you were all alone in a remote island, will you love the one who comes?

The truth is many of us are stuck at our emotional standoffish, mentally isolated in our “social” lagoons and we still live afraid of loving beyond personal known limits.

I haven´t stopped this dissociative habit, but I´m doing it step by step and -pitifully- within the atmosphere were pagans are -or where I could be one hurting-me not.

The good Samaritan parable gave me an outstanding example to see how we are to avoid risks for fears of being endangered. It says “there were some men who passed by and did not helped” (Luke 10:31-32). There was a second class citizen (from Samaria) who endured such a risk of being vulnerable...

Luk 10:34 The Samaritan went to him and poured olive oil and wine on his wounds.

Luk 10:34 He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him.

Will you care for those who need to be healed?

I have done it (though I cannot repay what I have received from friends who met me on my wrong way).

I have endangered like that, though I know my limits and people´s limits (as well the present law of the country I live).

Those who know we are hurt-me not know our boundaries, our fears, etc., but some still behave like that good Samaritan...

Just allow me to be entertained with the thought I have seen several of you who have done what is right -and lawful- according to God´s will and, that His peace (and love) grow more within you.

"Love ya!" (and hurt-me not). :)

A.T.

Misled

Recently, few weeks ago, I knew one of my friends wanted to rule the members of the church he is pastoring; even the time another friend used to her devotions and time for fasting. When this pastor told me that, I said at his table: You are a nut! You are becoming crazier... How come you think she needs you to fast or in her personal devotions?...

That is not FREEDOM! He wanted to control her freewill, but he said I was wrong because I am against that moment "many" think they are todays apostles, just interpreting VERTICALLY that "teaching" Shaul Paul left on Ephe 4:11... While he sees it vertically and hierarchically, I see it horizontally, because Jesus´teachings told me so...

Just allow me to quote the Lord´s words, so you can see the way I see it:

Mat 23:8 "But you must not be called 'Teacher.' You are all equal as brothers and sisters. You have only one Teacher.

Mat 23:8 But you may not be named Teacher: for one is your teacher, and you are all brothers.

Mat 23:8 But don't make others call you Rabbi, because you have only one teacher, and you are all followers.

Mat 23:8 But be not ye called Rabbi: for one is your Master, even Christ; and all ye are brethren.

Jesus never meant hierarchical degrees in His Spiritual Church. He never planned hierarchical structures, except men´s, who wanted to rule and control people´s life.

Jesus came to abolish the hierarchical system Jewish had established up to His earthly ministry. How come Paul (St. Shaul Paul) came to take it over?

The pastor laughed at me! But, soon after, I knew he wanted to control her life because he liked her (and he is actually married).

Is any married man (or woman) trying to mislead another person from the BASIC and essential relationship ALL Christians had to build up and seek first?

I came to realize that, if any letter contradicts the Lord´s sayings, those are not spiritedly written. If any of those letters I have considered inspired and part of the Scripture comes along with a teaching denying the Old Testament and Jesus´words, I will put my trust in Jesus and in God´s words, but not in man-made ideas or traditions.

Here is another clear example I see. Jesus said in Matthew:

Mat 23:9 And don't call anyone on earth your father, because you have only one Father, and he is in heaven.

Why is this custom so widely spread inside the Catholic Church? God knows it... (I guess Paul´s ideas were twisted).

Yet, by inferences, I know Paul wanted to be loved and called as a “father”... Have a look on these things he wrote:

1Co 4:14 I am not trying to make you feel ashamed, but I am writing this to counsel you as my own dear children.

2Co 6:13 I speak to you as if you were my children. Do the same as we have done--open your hearts also.

Phm 1:10 I am asking you for my son Onesimus. He became my son while I was in prison.

Tit 1:4 To Titus, a true son to me in the faith we share together. Grace and peace to you from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Savior.

1Ti 1:2 To Timothy, a true son to me in the faith we share. Grace, mercy, and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord.

2Ti 1:2 To Timothy, a dear son to me. Grace, mercy, and peace to you from God the Father and from Christ Jesus our Lord.

There´s nothing wrong when loving people so dearly but, if my loving or feelings would mislead others into a new “teaching” contradicting Jesus´ I wouldn´t keep my mouth shut.

It´s OK Paul longed to love and be loved, but some of his teachings were misleading into celibacy and, I´m quite concerned when he would be contradicting Jesus in the sense of being called “father”, because he saw -himself- alike to those apostles Jesus chose, before him.

Was he wronged when he compared equal to former apostles? (2Cor. 11:5, 11)

Have a look on this ( 2Cor. 12:12 ) and make your decision.

2Co 12:12 When I was with you, I patiently did the things that prove I am an apostle--signs, wonders, and miracles.

Let´s say he did those things he did. Let´s agree he was ALSO sent as an apostle but, what I like most, it is when he said:

1Co 4:9 But it seems to me that God has given me and the other apostles the last place. We are like prisoners condemned to die, led in a parade for the whole world to see--not just people but angels too.

At this extent he is quite right with Jesus´teachings:

Mat_23:11 Whoever serves you like a servant is the greatest among you.

Mar_9:35 He sat down and called the twelve apostles. He told them, "Whoever wants to be the most important person must take the last place and be a servant to everyone else."

The Twelve were discussing who would be the first after Jesus´ death (Mar 9:34). That was coping with the hierarchical religious system He came to abolish.

In His holy life time he saw how we human are. We are so used to this worldly system of hierarchies that He intended to teach we are all equal (as sinners, as human beings and having same spiritual rank He can only level up).

Read this, please:

Mar 9:33 Jesus and his followers went to Capernaum. They went into a house, and Jesus said to them, "I heard you arguing on the way here today. What were you arguing about?"

Mar 9:34 But the followers did not answer, because their argument on the road was about which one of them was the greatest.

Mar 9:35 Jesus sat down and called the twelve apostles to him. He said, "Whoever wants to be the most important must make others more important than themselves. They must serve everyone else."

How come Paul (St. Shaul Paul) wanted to twist Jesus teaching on Eph 4:11?

I´m sure Paul didn´t want to be misunderstood. He was right when saying: “But it seems to me that God has given me and the other apostles the last place.” (1Co 4:9) But he seems doubting and unsure.

Just compare it with Jesus´ words and please, be assured of the MASTER´s principle, not men´s ideas:

Luk 22:26 But you must not be like that. The one with the most authority among you should act as if he is the least important. The one who leads should be like one who serves.

Paul, inside his letters, said:

1Co 12:29 Not all are apostles. Not all are prophets. Not all are teachers. Not all do miracles.

He was right and still being right because GOD´s always right and perfect. How come this hierarchical church structure has been modeled after misunderstanding Paul´s ideas?

Ephesians clearly says that it is Christ´s gift (not Paul´s or any other man).

Eph 4:11 And that same Christ gave these gifts to people: He made some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to go and tell the Good News, and some to care for and teach God's people.

I see these gifts at the same level or human rank.

Here, on Paul´s teachings, I see no other Master, no other Father and no other LEADER, except Jesus Christ´s leadership.

Mat 23:8 "But you must not be called 'Teacher.' You are all equal as brothers and sisters. You have only one Teacher”.

Mat 23:9 And don't call anyone on earth 'Father.' You have one Father. He is in heaven.

Mat 23:10 And you should not be called 'Master.' You have only one Master, the Messiah.

If you feel the need to be seen or called “leader” you have a problem with self-esteem. Did you know that?

Mat 23:10 Don't make others call you a leader, because you have only one leader, the Messiah.

Just look at the Pharisees´visible attitude:

Mat 23:5 "They do everything to attract people's attention. They make their headbands large and the tassels on their shawls long.

I have seen people like that. I was called “teacher” in the Sunday school I was serving our Lord, but I didn´t know it was feeding my selfish ego.

Here are more examples:

Mat 23:6 They love the place of honor at dinners and the front seats in synagogues.

Mat 23:7 They love to be greeted in the marketplaces and to have people call them Rabbi.

Aren´t these things linked to the selfish ego and its low self teem?

Just imagine how Jesus dealt with it inside His own working team...

Presently, I see how several people are seeking others to be followed. I have received text messages from those who want to be heard or believed and, of course, that are problems of low self esteem.

We want to be loved -it´s quite normal- but you have a problem when you want to be followed, unless you are seeking a woman´s attention. What is it sought when you´ve called people´s attention?

Jesus called people´s attention to do His Father´s will.

Paul called people to do Jesus´ will (and not his personal loving will).

I will insist on not more hierarchical church structures. Some will feel I want to seize their roles, their positions, but I have read Ezekiel 34, John 10, and part of their fears reminded me this, in John´s gospel:

Joh 11:48 If we let him go on like this, everyone will believe in him, and the Romans will come and take away both our place and our nation."

Joh 11:48 If we let him continue what he's doing, everyone will believe in him. Then the Romans will take away our position and our nation."

I have felt these words Jesus spoke, during his lifetime:

Mat 23:28 So on the outside you look as though you have God's approval, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.

How hypocritical I have been largely in my life! No doubt I´m a sinner.

But, as long as I´ve lived, How many heads are there in a house? How many fathers (or mothers) took care of one family and their children?

The church has only ONE Father, and these are very well mentioned by Paul´s letters:

1Co_8:6 yet for us there is ONE God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom are all things and through whom we exist.

Eph_4:5-6 ONE Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over everything, through everything, and in everything.

Why do I have to believe the trinitarian syncretism or on the new apostleship movement?

Why do I have to believe the “former” apostleship is “restored”, when I know He has sent all who want to serve Him in worldly fields?

Mat 28:20 Teach them to do everything I have commanded you. "And remember that I am always with you until the end of time."

So, each time you´ve heard “I am an apostle” you might feel what I have felt: The is religious boasting and low self esteem... Just this type I don´t get:

2Co 5:20 Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.

Paul, as a man sent by the church and the Holy Spirit (along with Barnabas, Act 13:2) who also believed Jesus chose and sent him to preach the Good News, Will he contradict his Lord´s teaching? If not, who are twisting his ideas? Just men! (like me)

Backing up Paul´s ministry?

Apostle Peter said:

2Pe 3:15 And count the patience of our Lord as salvation, just as our beloved brother Paul also wrote to you according to the wisdom given him,

2Pe 3:16 as he does in all his letters when he speaks in them of these matters. There are some things in them that are hard to understand, which the ignorant and unstable twist to their own destruction, as they do the other Scriptures.

I don´t care whom you called “leaders”. I have one Lord and LEADER.

Mat 23:10 Don't make others call you a leader, because you have only one leader, the Messiah.

If you wanted me to believe Paul´s letters above Jesus´ words, I know whom I chose (because He chose me first).

I disbelieved any other person than Jesus could bring more information about God, and His business, so I will not be misled.

If you are seeking GOD and His will, you already know what it is needed: Scriptures are His, not other´s men.

A.T.

April 2014