Well, I am puzzled too.
I played the role of a mother, some time ago (my Joshua is 19 years now and Elisha 17). I wanted to give Josh my best. I never played with "dolls", so that time gave me the chance to learn from my own 1st baby (Elisha wasn´t planned, so I was screwed up in raising two kids).
Time passed by and I know HOW I failed. My ex-wife was a GOOD help. She made more money than me, but money NEVER reached "our" expectations, and diapers and ALL that stuff wasn´t cheap (as you now know).
For me, as a father (and half mother) Ha! Ha! I knew how to hug them the way you like (and I never liked having had one brother at the place I knew as "home" and my mother gave us more brothers and a LOVING STRONG sister).
As a family, man and woman have to settle down what ECONOMY the would LIKE to live and what THEY WOULD LIKE TO ENJOY (make it in a written paper, to avoid forgetting that contract of the economy of their marriage).
The moment I asked my ex-wife to take care of the babies, that followed my resignation from the job I was getting part of the money my children needed (my ex-wife was -and IS- good to make money).
After some experiences and learning from other people, you´d have your own opinion (and defending position) on that.
Time WILL TELL YOU MISSED important time while you were working in a PC or in a office to make your children look better, to be dressed up and look fine to "your" eyes (because secretly you didn´t want to be LOOKED DOWN). Time will tell you MANY things you´d like to ignore closing your eyes. Of course! Some children may say: "You don´t love me" or "YOU DIDN´T LOVE ME" (My daughter JOY told me that, because her mom pushed her to think that receiving MONEY IS receiving LOVE; but I know how I love and LOVED her (and all).
Inside the room, YOUR HOME, there is a lot of WORK you won´t never be paid (you don´t need to, by the way). Those days you looked after your child watching all those nights to control the fever, his/her coughing (etc) (etc) won´t be paid. Firstly, THEY CAME HERE because you "called" them to be with you (no child has come without a sexual invitation) (only those you have adopted). 2ndly, that job won´t be paid because it is the best job GOD HAS GIVEN A MAN AND HIS WOMAN (Thank YOU, Lord, for that blessing I enjoyed). 3erly, IT WAS THE ONLY WAY I have to know more deeply my father´s feelings, my GRANDMOTHER´S TOILS, how I was raised and, the last, I KNEW MORE ABOUT GOD WHEN BEING ME, as father (not the best, not the worst) and as temporal "mother".
I hope these ideas served any of you, repaying unpaid labors to you who love (and loved) their children and those days that are to pass by.
PS
That was published on 11/2013! Now, not being misogynistic (but as another disappointed of humanity) I´d like to update this account with "evidence" you could find online, these dark days.
Yet, on few days back, I over heard a judge's disappointment (his wife cheated on him) and he knew it, when those he thought were their sons, resulted to be only hers.
He worked and raised a "family" which belonged to other men (not his DNA).