Few notes on Reward Systems

I guess many knows them here. These are raised and developed since we were born, cared, hugged and loved. It changed and was modeled when we went to school and that served us when we went to work. Money, power and several sort of human pleasures added some mood to our reward system.

I remember many things of childhood. Some are not nightmares visiting me each day, because I acknowledged those things I made wrong and those that were done by someone who also failed. I'm not the only part who is responsible for the good -and evil facts- that shaped my life. I should be more responsible for my loved ones, my children, and other's children too.

My reward system knows whom I like, what things I like and don't and -of course- money is on top of those cheap things we can be giving others to nurture (and shape) their reward system.

My daughter is on a new life stage. She thinks she is beautiful, desirable, date-able and strong. I'm trying to help her, but she is just where the “help” she wants is out is my hand (and I'm out of her priorities in her reward system). She is where she takes and misses what she thinks best, but I will not stop giving her some advices, I will try to coach as much as I can, and I know she is strong willed (somehow stubborn).

I know my son's visceral reward system. They're enjoying what I try my daughter avoid, as long as I see viscerality is not good out of marriage. Those brothers I have are very well known and sought (and demanded) and, of course, they have no ears to hear what I'm trying to say: Don't use ladies, don't abuse those who love you; but I have no control on their life, I'm not a cop to watch what they do in their privacy (and out of my reach).

I'm being rude to tell Joy those risks she could sort out when knowing most of those guys who would pretend her loving are just seeking the same thing my sons do with other girls in those neighborhoods I don't know.

Reward systems are too egotic, too self-poised (erotic and stubborn).

The school helped us to be the persons we are. That social interaction helped us to be the one we liked and those one we hate having been. There we shaped the good and the evil we know know. We had a reward system there that helped us to be the ones we are now.

Did you like history, science or arts? Those grades we received pushed our ego to seek what we liked and, later on, those likes helped us to get money instead of the approval (and social recognition) grades gave us in childhood at several schools.

My mother is not that one who would come to hug you and say: “I love you”. But if you just give her a bag of milk power (or coffee) she will be happy and honestly thankful, because her reward system is alive (and kicking) at her 73. Ha! Ha!

Some of us knew differently how each personal reward system works. Mine could be too hedonistic, while others are so stoic and holier than many (or few).

Some persons “modeled” their reward system into a compulsion. Some do like to change how their life looks like, other do like to move and change their furniture or the paint color in their houses, but other keep on cleaning the house the whole day and get annoyed when they feel “nobody helps them clean the house”. Have you heard that?

Perhaps you are the owner of the entire house -at least a single room- and those persons come inside your room (your life) to try to change your whole world... Wee!

It is their compulsion, their reward system asking you to get involved in those things you don't like, you don't need or have bypassed largely, for months or years.

Some of them, needing some sort of daily achievement, will ask you to remove the trash can THEY SAY it's in the kitchen, your bedroom, or the backyard (but their closet -and drawers- are full of useless stuff, clothing they will never use again, and they are unwilling to give the needy outside that “home”).

I remember some of my ex-wife's tiny compulsion (now). When she cleaned my space, she made me live a mess. I'm messy, but I got lost when she moved my things out of where “I knew” I left some papers and things. It was so disturbing that I moved to the next floor on the same house we've built and, when we sold it to move to the countryside, I moved twice to avoid her compulsions... Ha! Ha! That did not make me to be a wanderer (I already was) But I was a homie being who loved the order I gave my life, particularly when I had my own room, at the apartment my brother Alain and I knew as home, as long as we lived with my dad's mother and her family.

Mónica, on the contrary, did the same chores, but often asked me permission to move my messy things and I often did THAT JOB with her and -her whole life- richly blessed my messy life (I'm not perfect, but Mónica's life gave me those lessons I needed to improve my reward system).

I'm happy now!

I became somewhat over-sharer here (as often) and stopped to think on the blessing God has given me (to enforce and develop my reward system). The family where I grew up, the things I did, the persons I like (and dislike) served me to get the place where I am, the man I am, and the person I could be.

Deep inside me I laughed (hiding some tears you won't see). I guess these words could useless, unnecessary, but I write to balance “the compulsion” I feel to give, to share, to say: “I have lived” and I know my children won't read these words now, and I want to give them some written support to keep in them the memory that I love -and loved- them forever.

These years went so fast. I removed myself from the home I thought I could build close to their life, but my life was a mess with their mother, and I could live a life like that. She is not a monster! Otherwise, I wouldn't have touched her as she touched my life and mind. But we don't belong (and that ended up).

We, as human, having an unique and particular reward system, must know who we are before approaching people. We are not made as a puzzle, but we are puzzled for things (and persons) we cling, liked or tried to get inside our personal reward system.

Have you hugged your children and wife?

Have you told them you love them for free, for the persons they are (telling them how you see them or how you thought they were)?

Reward system has to be enforced (for the good you like and for those things you would like to see).

School gave us good grades on history, psychology, Spanish or English... Those good grades gave us some popularity, some social recognition and “friends” tagged along; but those things served us to be the person we wanted to be, the ones we are now, and gave us the needed information we're using to be the persons we want to be.

Jobs gave us money, as a reward (instead of good grades) and that served us to buy things we thought we needed and to buy stuff we believed others needed. Money is a reward system enforcer (pain also teaches) and its value is above all those grades -and approval- we received at schools.

Money will not serve you to buy love, but to enforced those things you would like to receive (and see). Social approval cannot be bought by money (not by good grades) but it gives you the recognition some people may think they need to get things their personal achievement is missing or wanting.

I have seen some persons want to buy love and social recognition with money. Good grades were sought at school to get people's attention, social recognition, but those things never said who you really are, the person who is inside the clothing you wear as a mask.

Your deeds speaks louder than your words and words can be used to get social recognition, good grades and money also; but God's approval is above anything: You can buy the world, but the world can sell you as a simple stuff in its social market.

Anyone can be deceived by the world and its unwise reward system.

Society can label you the way they think (or the way you want them to label you). You can buy your “good grades” with anything you have to offer: money, sex, hard work, etc., but real glory is bought with sacrifice, honoring God instead of any human (or woman you may love).

Worldly reward system can be “cracked” by using lies, but God's cannot not: There's the huge example of Jesus Christ's life.

I'm not concerned about eternity. In fact, I'm not over-concerned for anything, but I'd like to teach my kids to acknowledge God instead of this world reward system. If I were not sure He is not the Person I know He is, I would not try to say a word; but my children are not completely deaf, same as yours (in fact, some of us were spiritually deaf and blind, and some people words -and their works- reached us, somehow).

I hope my children love God instead of any world reward system they might find soon.

God is good.

Mat 7:11 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!

Probably you like X-mas season... How did you feel certain day when not receiving something you largely asked and never came under that decorated tree?

What were those feeling when being a child or a teen and those things were postponed or neglected?

Did you feel disappointed for parents or GOD, when you felt these were not heard as prayers?

You expected your parents to give you the best. They gave the best they could and, probably you have the hunch they gave you less or that someone else was more loved than you... Does this hurt you to think, even to ponder? But you were jealous at some degree...

Most of us thought we deserved the best. We don´t have an exact measure for “the best” but, my measure could be too high (or low) for many of you. I may see I´d like a new house as a home, but some believe a home is a mansion, and others have learned “home” is the place where they belong (no matter it be huge or a simple room, where they live and enjoy themselves).

Good parents love to give presents their children. They knew how they felt when they were postponed (or denied) to receive a simple present. No one knows their parents shortage -or troubles- to give them a birthday present, so that´s way many like to give and -others- like to be asked, begged and utterly get to be misunderstood: You cannot give what you don´t have. Those things you think you possess -to control others- seems to be “unwilling” to freely be given (just blame those things you´ve treasured more than an idol)

God is mighty! You cannot do anything to lure Him away. Prayers serve to tell HIM where your mind and needs are, but these do not move HIM, except to help you to be aligned with HIS will, to HIS best plan for you inside HIS eternal purpose.

When you plan to marry someone, it is proper to seek GOD´s confirmation, GOD´s approval with HIS divine guidance. If you marry without God´s guidance, too alone, that´s your choice, solely.

God can give you the best choice (but if He wills) We cannot push Him.

Many of us look after GOD at our personal convenience. We want Him to do those things we´re (or were) unable to do, hindered in so many ways; but He is not under the bond of servitude, He is the King of Kings, and Lord of Lords.

There´s creepy belief that we can get God to do what it pleases us. It´s just the opposite!

We “modeled” God as Santa or as a good uncle we had to receive what we think (or believe) we deserve (first than many people who is in a waiting room).

If you were given the power, you would help those you like, those you have loved and -perhaps- those you have heard of or felt you admire.

If you were asked to give an advice, a tip, you will help if you have learned how important is receiving it or giving it. If you were a mayor of a town I guess you will be willing to help those who come to visit your county or city. Don´t you?

God is more than a mayor, more than a Father, and He knows how to give good things (Matt 7:11). we have an idea, we´ve learned to give (because we´ve received and knew how important some things are to be received).

Did you pray (or pay) to be married? Did you asked God for a job, a position you´ve liked more than any other?

Assuming you received what you have asked (or worked for) was it good to be heard by The Giver?

Did you deserve “anything” just by asking it?

Some will be asking for a job, for a friend, for a child, for being healed, a roof or food. Some could be working hard to get access to college, a position in society or inside a family they think they belong and here is where they acknowledged God, as a giver (or troubleshooter).

Some of us -people- needed to experience pain, emotional suffering, to go to ask anything from God. To know Him somehow. Yes! Many learned He is a giver, a loyal judge and sometimes He doesn´t give the answer we thought it was the best... Does it make you to feel guilt or a human disappointment?

Someway or another, God will send you His message, His will will be known for you to know what He wants (just when you are inviting Him to show what His will is).

If you asked for a spouse, a friend, He will not send you an army of snakes... (Matt 7:11). Sometimes we are not qualified (or adequate) to receive what we´re asking for. Do we ask Him to be ready to receive His whole blessings?

He will not give you a thing (or a person) you don´t like.

Will you ask bread to receive a snake?

He knows you more than you! He sees deep inside you and there is not limit to His mind and sight.

If you think He is using people or circumstances to teach you or to tell you a thing, just ask Him to confirm what you might be thinking in your limited understanding. God is good!

Do not trust those hunches we may have so easily. “I think she is the person I needed”, “This is the job I was praying for”... How many times we were lost in those wrong decisions we made thinking we were “right”?

You may be wrong when liking the person you like.

You might be lost thinking you did right choosing a friend who ended up unfriendly, not loyal.

Be assured that GOD is all powerful to lead you to those persons you might be needing. He is strong enough to guard you and your loved ones. He is good! Beyond known measures.

If someone tells you: “God told me this and this”. Go ask GOD Himself to confirm it as true. Do not believe all that´s said, with no personal experience. God will teach you where to follow up.

These days a friend knew something she was not permitted to see and understand. I was so glad GOD sent one of His messengers to tell her things well. (Thank you, God!) Will He lead you into errors and additional mistakes? No! No! No! (That´s not His nature: His nature is love, a giving of pure love).

I´m glad He gave me a chance to have some glimpses of it. His goodness is above my limited mind and comprehension so, He is good more than I ever knew.

Some dreams become true

More than 15 years have passed when my dad told me one is his dreams (a nightmare, I´d say). He was in his bed and told me those things I don´t want to forget, because that gave me a clue to believe dreams, sometimes, are talking to me.

He saw he was falling down, into a pit, and he was falling with two German pastor, two pets he had (I never saw him owing dogs).

Any moment he heard a voice reproaching him: “Release them!... Can you see you are caducous”. He was shocked at the last word, so he left those dogs he thought he could be protecting, in his falling into a hole or depth.

None of both were Christians, just Catholics, and nominatively. When he told me I knew those dogs were my brother and I. And -by that time- we knew nothing about a disease which was to kill him; Cancer.

If it wasn´t God or an angel speaking to him, I think his body was talking to him; but he did nothing to change his smoke habits.

Let´s say he had a second chance to stop that addition, but he did it to his last breath (I really hate smoking).

Last week I have a dream. I was inside a bus, near the Orinoco river and, somehow, the bus jumped into its waters (which I know are not transparent as a fresh glass of water).

I don´t know how but I fought to breathe. I escaped by a quick swimming and reached the air (but I wasn´t choked). When I saw where I was, both shores were too far from my arms to swim. It seemed I was in the middle of 1 or 2 km from any river shore.

I never liked how the Orinoco river looked at my visits. I don´t like lagoons because those waters are not clear, transparent (I guess I don´t like people for the same reason).

Inside the dream I swam to my left and before I reached that shore, I knew -inside the dream- it was that I was to be richly blessed, more abundantly that I cannot deal, that I wanted to flee and run from.

I know dreams can tell you where you are in a particular situation. They can tell you where your priority is, where your flesh is, and these can give you some warns, some tips and advise (as my dad really missed).

I believed GOD used Joseph by his understanding of some dreams he and others had (he was humble enough to desire that what GOD gave him in Egypt). I believed GOD warned Joseph (the carpenter) to flee with Jesus and HIS mother, to Egypt...

What are dreams teaching you lately?

I know some dreams become true.

I´m not like Thomas...

This week I went to Eduardo´s. He asked me to fix two laptops and, on my way home, it was late sunday and, transportation becomes disgusting, slow to be gotten (just hard to be quickly seen).

I met a neighbor and ex co-worker (by 2000). He is a JW and I told him we needed GOD to be taken home. The street looked empty but I put my faith in GOD and in HIS power...

Both of us were talking. I was looking at my cell phone while he was talking to me but, as a car motioned so slowly in front of me, I asked the driver: "Are you going to La Esperanza"... He talked back: "We´re going to the club"...

My neighbor and I quickly jumped into the back of that pickup. I started to say that it seemed the driver needed to take us inside his car... with a red carpet. We were talking amused while the driver went so slow, moving his head to see who was willing to ask him anything, because our hands were "busy" in another thing, instead of waving for the help we badly needed to be taken home.

He agreed. We were looking at different things and that car came into the scene before we had spent 5 minutes waiting (it takes often more than 1/2 hour).

I acknowledged GOD on that lift (literally, a lift). No wonder, I was serving one of HIS earthly workers and that day HE blessed me very well (with more $ than I need for a simple day).

When we reached our hometown, we kept on talking. I remembered the boss we had and how he helped us when we needed money in advance. and he told me things I didn´t know and things I have forgotten.

He was working in a field survey. He was a helper and holding those stuff to measure the land, he lifted too much one of those tools in an open field. There were some HV wires no one in the team saw, and his tool almost touched one line and he quickly received an electric discharge and fell down to the ground, as dead.

He told me his mind was alive, feeling he thought he was falling or running like a wheal to the place he has seen in the valley he was working... His NDE was not like I have heard other people. He was just struck by an electric discharge that burned 5” in his left arm and that power went to he ground on his right leg, burning part of his cloths and one of his shoes (just by his right ankle).

He told me those details I´m not writing, but I invited him to write his personal witness: He is alive to tell it, in his own language and words (just praising GOD).

I know he suffered from that accident. I had forgotten he “die” one day by 2000, because we worked for the same mining proyect, the same company and same boss we both have thanked GOD for having had.

I wanted to picture his arm, but I hope he does it himself to help people see his witnessing. Although I know God needs nothing from us, it is us who absolutely need GOD, instead.

In a simple day I saw God´s help.

I know very few persons are willing to help people for free, risking themselves in the inadequacy of the comunism of Venezuela, but those unknown persons helped us to go home and, additionally, I was told things I never knew directly from one who was almost dead, and the evidence was in front of my eyes, as I face each day.

Mind playing bad games

This morning I was "dreaming" with things I don't want to. I don't know how, but I have found out my mind is self-willed, she does what she does when I am not awaken, being slept, or falling asleep.

I don't know how to ague to teach her not to do those things SHE IS NOT ALLOWED to do (or tell me).

I don't like her when she says those things I don't want to pay attention to.

I felt disgusted! She has repeated the same “message” she has sent me a couple of times.

I do know who I like, how I could love and -of course- I know my limits to be the perfect lover (the perfect person) the one I'll never be (but I could try to be like that man she thinks -she wants- and deserves).

In that dream (not a nightmare) I saw my ex-wife this morning. (Jan 16, 2014).

If my mind would have warned me to pray for her, I would have prayed aloud but, when she asked me to love her, I feel I hated my mind for playing those bad games.

I'm over! I'm over! (and I don't like her, anymore)

Some of us know the mind has its plays, and also know GOD can use them to talk to our hearts. Bad spirits, also, could “help” the mind to say their lies, so we'd better stay tuned with God's will.

My mind could be a good mate to talk when being or traveling alone a big leg trip on this single life. But I must admit she doesn't behave well when she's left alone to do her things, woke up or slept away.