Would God Expect Women To Work Like A Male ?

Well, I am puzzled too.

I played the role of a mother, some time ago (my Joshua is 19 years now and Elisha 17). I wanted to give Josh my best. I never played with "dolls", so that time gave me the chance to learn from my own 1st baby (Elisha wasn´t planned, so I was screwed up in raising two kids).

Time passed by and I know HOW I failed. My ex-wife was a GOOD help. She made more money than me, but money NEVER reached "our" expectations, and diapers and ALL that stuff wasn´t cheap (as you now know).

For me, as a father (and half mother) Ha! Ha! I knew how to hug them the way you like (and I never liked having had one brother at the place I knew as "home" and my mother gave us more brothers and a LOVING STRONG sister).

As a family, man and woman have to settle down what ECONOMY the would LIKE to live and what THEY WOULD LIKE TO ENJOY (make it in a written paper, to avoid forgetting that contract of the economy of their marriage).

The moment I asked my ex-wife to take care of the babies, that followed my resignation from the job I was getting part of the money my children needed (my ex-wife was -and IS- good to make money).

After some experiences and learning from other people, you´d have your own opinion (and defending position) on that.

Time WILL TELL YOU MISSED important time while you were working in a PC or in a office to make your children look better, to be dressed up and look fine to "your" eyes (because secretly you didn´t want to be LOOKED DOWN). Time will tell you MANY things you´d like to ignore closing your eyes. Of course! Some children may say: "You don´t love me" or "YOU DIDN´T LOVE ME" (My daughter JOY told me that, because her mom pushed her to think that receiving MONEY IS receiving LOVE; but I know how I love and LOVED her (and all).

Inside the room, YOUR HOME, there is a lot of WORK you won´t never be paid (you don´t need to, by the way). Those days you looked after your child watching all those nights to control the fever, his/her coughing (etc) (etc) won´t be paid. Firstly, THEY CAME HERE because you "called" them to be with you (no child has come without a sexual invitation) (only those you have adopted). 2ndly, that job won´t be paid because it is the best job GOD HAS GIVEN A MAN AND HIS WOMAN (Thank YOU, Lord, for that blessing I enjoyed). 3erly, IT WAS THE ONLY WAY I have to know more deeply my father´s feelings, my GRANDMOTHER´S TOILS, how I was raised and, the last, I KNEW MORE ABOUT GOD WHEN BEING ME, as father (not the best, not the worst) and as temporal "mother".

I hope these ideas serve any of you, unpaid labors who love (and loved) their children and those days that are to pass by.

Words to a heartbroken person...

Stories of broken hearted people is ENDLESS, everywhere on earth (and also in Heaven, where I guess someone misses human love).

That pain of being left is selfish, parly. I know it since I grow and grew with it.

When we hurted people, when we left them alone -contrary to their loving will- they suffered that pain and, often, we were not completely conscious of the broken heart we left and the wrong things we did.

When we were left by them, we were aware of the pain, we knew how it hits, and this time we know how it hurts (the lesson serves to avoid hurting or being hurt).

 My life have both extremes and recently, I fell in love with one woman I adjusted to match (the whole thing is long and wrong, and I won´t repeat on telling those blogs I have posted) and that ended on Sept. 2012.

I know I had it a pure feeling, honest love. I could have it in the sensual sense or as a sexual relationship, but I stopped it before it was too late, because I was deeply involved with her.

The thing here, as a broken hearted man, when you knew you got the wrong person, we have to accept their refusal, their leaving away, their choice for another person... All are free to do it, to choose for another (if not married, because it is a long-termed commitment).

This year, by the way, I met with someone I have loved for more than 20 years. Innerly, as a secret, I planned that one day I could meet her to marry her (the way I thought I knew her) but, after some hours of re-encounter with a group of people, I found out I was wrong, she was not the one I thought she was and not the one I thought she would be when being Christian, so I´m glad I know I was wronged by my ideas and not others.

Do you like to find yourself being cheated or do you like to find out you have loved an adulterer?

I´m glad he left you! No matter how painfully it is today, little girl.

I have liked many songs of JOURNEY. Steve Perry seemed to have lived some of his songs but, as I have seen, "love" is an idealization, a dream seldom found.

Hope you find him!

Emotional Loneliness. Is this an issue today?

I don´t think it as an option, you can change it or endure that... 

For example, I recently got a cat and I couldn´t keep it for three reasons, as I saw these: 

1) Her feeding was out of "my budget" or daily income (if I call it that way). 

2) The job I irregularly do takes me out home too often, and 

3) She was too demanding, I´m used to my passsed by dog... (But I loved the way she was). 

These same things apply for people, as well as other reasons for their being alone or emotionally isolated (I know some people cannot walk, cannot see... and more). 

I just let these things for you to consider some reasons that could be keeping you in a situation that leads you (or someone) to how you feel (or them), the way you are (or them) and no matter there is a family (since I have 3 children). 

I live alone, in a mountain, with no relationship with my neighbors (because I don´t like the way they are, for example) and many dislike to look at people eyes or their needs. You can live in an apartment and, each time you get into an elevator, you avoid looking at people´s eyes and, if they say "hello", you are mute or suddenly deaf. 

Prayers do heal people, but my actitude spoils it -as well as yours- and those may be hindered to get your way out. 

Find out how to cope with loneliness, your actitude and live ONE DAY AFTER A DAY. 

I enjoy sharing with people who are accesible and open minded IN THE STREETS. 

If you are secluded, the CC and other sites may help you find some relief or a definitive way to sort these out. 

Allow me to say that I wish God may look on those who feel alone or the sadness of loneliness, same way I have see it here and elsewhere.

To someone

“In my quest to find Mr Right (or rather hoping he would find me) I have found that dating seems to be a mission... I want someone who has a relationship with Jesus. But I'm finding more and more that so many single guys have this whole act going on in church. You would be so convinced that they are saved and have a relationship with God only to date them and realize that they are playing church just for their family. How do you even know when someone is genuine and someone is not?”

I loved what you have said. In fact, you are not the only one seeking that Mr Right. You are not alone, and I hope to find that special person and reading that “you also hope to be found” made me smile, since I once posted the same on blogger.com, some time ago... Ja! Ja!

Twenty years ago, I thought my Mss Right would be in a church. I used to say to God: “Allow me to find her, in a way she looked like my grandmother...” (She was a Baptist woman, and I had wrong ideas on how my grandma was) But I loved the way she was!

Those days I met one woman I liked (and her name was close to my grandmother's, also) Ja! Ja! (I think God showed me how foolish my ideas were, those days).

I liked that relationship we both developed. I wasn't sure she was my Mss Right, but I married her anyhow, because I believed she was “my” Mss Right (She wasn't mine, telling the truth! Same way I wasn't her Mr Right).

The church, as a mean to find friends or spouses, is the same like outside: There's no guaranty on WHO you would find...

I enjoyed the two first years (We spent 13) and I cannot say how long she enjoyed me, but she endured me! (Same way I stood by her side, since both tried to make it function).

Problems came when we realized we were too different, and things became worst when:

1. Baby Joshua came... (Money was an issue at that moment) as this is today!

2. She invited some of her family to live with us (that spoiled sexual intimacy, personal space and privacy, and those things you will know when facing it yourselves).

3. Doctrinal and personal beliefs came along to separate ME from hers (She was a Pentecostal and I still being a non-religious Christian believer).

4. She used to think she was a leader! (a church leader and HOME leader) and her commitment to her Pentecostal denomination made me feel I was isolated, since I was doing my part at the Christian Churches (not thinking I was a leader) Jesus is my leader! (I came to Christ, as my Lord and Savior, through the work of people from the Team Expansion missionaries).

5. I married her for physical relief. It wasn't the love I know now. So I failed from the very beginning, and I knew something about her I should have divorced before passively thinking: “Probably God wants me to be married and love her the way she is...”

Genuine love is an unidirectional COMMITMENT, not a fixed feeling I condition for convenience.

You don't know a person unless you live with that one you planned to love or marry.

Doctrinal beliefs should be explored first than touching hands, lips, or any part of the body or those changing feelings.

Church is supposed to be the “ideal” place to find out that idealized person, but look at the stories of Rebecca, who was found IN THE STREET, directed by God through prayers (Abraham's, his servant's and Isaac's human longings).

Look at Ruth story... Look at Booz account and his justice... Those people came from afar and outside the religious synagogue or denominational church. Some churches are a sort of kindergarten, home schools or military hospitals for healing wounded hearts...

What I'm saying is the Church is not exclusive for finding your Mr or Mss Right!

You cannot find your best choice in a disco, in a bar, in a party where they consume drugs or enjoy cheating.

You cannot get your Mr Right if you see his date several girls in a week or if he/she keeps on wooing a couple of girls/women/men at the same time.

You shouldn't marry a woman who thinks (of herself) she is a leader or tries to lead you, as a man. (Remember the saying: “Behind any big man, there is a big woman...”).

I love to be the one I am!

God is not religion, but A WAY TO LIVE, more than this materialistic culture.

Of course, I see how materialistic Rebecca was when RECEIVING all that stuff she received on behalf of Isaac´s name. I saw how materialistic Isaac and I are when staring at outer beauty, since OUR MINDS are set on things that are conditioned or programmed to be understood by OUR EYES, instead of our hearts (or by the spirit of our minds).

Did Moses marry an ugly woman?

Did he marry a Cushitic woman while Sephora was alive? (Does any of us know more than God?)

Abraham married a nice looking woman. He met her PERSONALLY, not by a hidden picture nor in a Blind date... Why DO many people hide? I know many like to play their games, but I don't like playing hide & seek.

Jacob wanted a nice looking woman, but Laban tricked him to work 7 more years to get Rachel... How long will you be WORKING TO GET HER?

I leave these things on God's...

I barely get enough to my daily living.

Nov 20, 2013

A.T.